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Learning about ourselves

Home Learning about ourselves
By: Kogi Naidoo / January 29, 2024

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”  

Carl Gustav Jung

I always ask myself why I am annoyed by some people I meet. Is it because they are simply annoying? Or is it because they are pressing my buttons? More often than not, it is a case of another one of my issues that I have to deal with. I find that usually these people have issues that are really my issues. It is me who is responding the way I do. They are not asking me to be annoyed. In fact, I have total control over how I respond and feel. Isn’t it interesting how often we attribute blame on others for how we feel or respond? What are some things about people that annoy me? I find I have no patience for people who do not keep to their word. Is it because I keep to my word? Yes, it is. I make my choice as to what I do. I take responsibility for how act. I cannot take responsibility for how others act. Therefore, how they act should not really affect me. Once I see things this way, it helps me accept and cope with how others behave. 

People tend to mirror the behaviours of others. You give off what you receive. I guess if I am annoyed with others, then I must be doing something that is making them respond to me that way. Thinking about how I behave in terms of how others behave is a definite way I can keep a check on both my own behaviour as well how others behave towards me. It is about not sending out particular signals, because if I do, then I have asked for a particular behaviour to be mirrored right back. As a result, what I have learned is to understand others and behave in particular ways that is understandable to them as well. 

I would also like to share that I have received certain behaviours only because I have deserved it. For example, I have learned the following virtues: patience, respect and forgiveness. All this is working on my subconscious levels. What I give off is what I get back. How has it been for you? Have you been annoyed by the way some people behave towards you? Do you think there is justification for those behaviours? What have you done or not done to deserve that behaviour? What do you need to do differently to change the behaviours you have been observing? 

With this new understanding of your behaviour and the behaviour of others, we are now ready to accept others. We are also in tune with others and can therefore adjust our behaviours so that we are not set off by minor irritations. We can get bigger than who we are. We can forgive others for reasons we in the past responded to them in particular ways. Once we are able to do this and perform at this level, we will have come to terms with intolerable behaviours. 

I wish you well in how you create with others. 

With infinite love and gratitude 

Kogi 

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