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Love equals suffering

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By: Kogi Naidoo / January 29, 2024

“Love involves a willingness to suffer and to be inconvenienced.”

Lewis F Presnall

I can say that love is still worth the effort. I have been taken out of my comfort zone, made to feel hurt and pain, uncertainty and anxiety. I realise it is part of the life cycle we all have to go through.  

We live, love and have to one day meet our end. As much as it sounds macabre and negative it is our reality. When we commit to love, it comes with an equal commitment to accept all other resulting emotions. We are guaranteed suffering and being inconvenienced to varying degrees. It is inevitable. I know that we are sometimes blinded and consumed by the euphoria of love that we do not notice the warning signs. We need to upfront acknowledge that we are ready to take any other emotion as a result of the love we experience. We put ourselves second, others come first. We behave in a self-less manner, respecting the other. 

How do I maintain my balance? I accept upfront that I will suffer and will be inconvenienced. It becomes easier after this to be prepared for anything. I am always putting others first and display my selflessness. It isn’t easy to do this, but it is what I have to do. It makes life and loving worthwhile. What are my gains? Exactly that! I do not focus on the pain, the suffering and any inconvenience that is or may be caused. I don’t, as it will detract from my focus and dilute my effort at loving and receiving love. I focus on the rewards of love. I focus on what I gain. With love I have the caring and devotion to me. I reciprocate in the same way. I know that if I focused on the love, any suffering or inconveniences caused pale into insignificance. This is true of all my relationships. What I put in is what I get out and back. My greatest gain is that I am never lonely. I am always feeling worthwhile and cherished. 

How do you feel about love? Are you afraid of the suffering and inconveniences that may be caused? Are you suffering and inconvenienced because of love? If you are, know that it worthwhile, it is part of the deal. There can be no love if you are unable to cope with all that comes with love. It is part of what we all experience. You must believe in the power of love and that in time the suffering will diminish. 

The power of love will get you through any pain or hurt you are experiencing. In time the pain lessens. All that you will feel is love. Without love our lives would be empty. There would be no pain or suffering either. It is therefore better for us to trust in love, feel that joy, and forgive any inadvertent pain or suffering. 

With infinite love and gratitude 


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‘Misery’ was my middle name

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