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Others can’t see my point of view

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By: Kogi Naidoo / January 29, 2024

“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” 

Nelson Mandela

I have so often been misunderstood for one of two reasons; my view on an issue and the way I have communicated my position. What I have since learned is that it is up to me to ensure my position is well justified, that is I have evidence to back it up (it is not just my point of view), and that I clearly present my position (where I stand) on the issue. I also know that I have to have a firm position and perspective from which I make my statement. By this I mean that I, myself must be sure of what I think, feel and say about the issue. If I am shifty and change or am not sure exactly what my position or my stance is, then I am not going to be clear in communicating where I stand. 

There are three main perspectives I usually view an issue. The first one is my own. I check this out in the following way: imagine yourself standing on top level of a large, three-story building. If you stand on the one end of the floor and look at a tree that is growing directly in front of the middle of the building, you will get a side on view, if you stand in the middle you will get a direct view and you stood on the other side you will get the opposite view to the one you had to the one you had on the other side. My second perspective comes from when you stand in the middle of the top floor and look down below and to the left and right down below from you vantage big picture top floor view. My third perspective comes from standing in the middle of the ground floor and looking up from the middle and the left and right of that floor. These three main perspectives and the positions on each main perspective are usually what I consider to adjust my stand on an issue. You are perhaps thinking this is complicated. It is when one adds emotion to the mix of objective rationality. 

It is therefore best for me to work out where I stand on an issue before I enter into a conversation or discussion with others. In this way I will have considered the issues from the various perspectives, from my level and both left and right views, from the top-down, big picture, including left and right views, and from the bottom-up, left and right views. I will also have worked out reasonable rationale from each perspective. Having the perspectives and evidence worked out in my mind allows me to be able to shift my position and where I stand to one that is logical and valid, one that will benefit everyone, even if I have had to shift my stance and view. It is no longer important to me that I appear to have shifted position than it is to have the best outcome for everyone. All too often, we are wedded to a single position and have blind spots to all other perspectives. Even when shown other perspectives we appear stuck and steadfast on where we have stood. 

If you have been sitting in this stuck stance for some time and have not made any progress with an issue for a while, perhaps it is time to stand up and walk to the left, to the right on your level, then look down from a big picture vantage view, and then look at it from the ground floor up to where you have been standing. You may surprise yourself as to what you may see! 

With infinite love and gratitude! 

Kogi 

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